I Remember

Thirty five years ago today my mother died. It was 1970 and breast cancer treatment was primitive and usually unsuccessful. She was 41. I was 16. Over the years I have missed her with an intensity that ebbs and flows - usually it is related to the milestones in my life...the birth of my kids...graduating from college...meeting Paul...loving our farm....At those times I want to share with her the people I love and the person I have become. No matter how old I get, I am still a child, needing acknowledgement and support and love. She does live on, though, as all of us who knew her continue to remember her. Her brilliance. Her smile. Her warmth. Her love for us. I don't believe in God, or heaven, or any of the traditional salves for fear of the unknown. So I don't know where she is, or if she is anything but dust. But she is alive in my mind, smiling at me with her motherly approval.